Mar 7

The Last Rose of Summer

“Death is so final.” – Danny A. After discussing the consideration of options for Mom’s treatment or lack thereof.

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Written and voiced by Sean Dowd, CPA

What’s this all about?

Death is so final, but it’s also a beginning. For the living, It’s the pivot of the heel at the crossroad. The pressure of your hand on the steering wheel. As you take those additional steps you move in a direction that will reshape the journey, whether you want it to or not. You can either go forward, left, or right. You might be able to tap the breaks or completely stop. But to keep up this comparison to driving a car, or walking down a path, the people in those cars or on that path behind you trying to go their own way, might get a little frustrated.

Honking, yelling, intimidation.

Guidance, listening, tenderness.

Think about driving a car. You’re making tens, hundreds, thousands of decisions in a short period of time. Most of us who drive can do this through a relative unconscious effort. Why? Because we’ve done it many times. The wiring in our brain has set us up with the programming.

It’s unfortunate, or a blessing I’ve dealt with the death of those who have been close to me many times. This is the first loss of a parent. I’m not as old as I would have preferred, or as young as I could have been.

To the deceased, it’s the end of the road. At least in this realm.

Most of the time people don’t plan for these things. At least that’s been my experience.

The soonest we can meet with the funeral home is Tuesday. And they had only two appointments available on that day. Lately many funerals have been postponed longer than would have previously been considered reasonable.

Just like the convenience of 24-hour commerce has been changed due to Covid, I imagine even the mortuary industry is faced with its own set of challenges. From being overworked from the potential increase in deaths from the pandemic or the potential for the labor implications resulting from the events of the last two years.

So I have time to… think. Or act.

I can take time to listen. I can take time to share. My immediate reactions to things, especially if acting on programming of my previous and often long-held perceptions can take me in any direction. Sometimes in directions that will lead to more regret.

We can break or we can maintain wholeness.

We are responsible.

Response. Able.

In the space between, a lot of intangible things can happen that yield tangible results.

Be kind to yourself.

Be kind to others.

Be deliberate.

Enjoy the view.


That’s the synopsis. Primary sources for inspiration of this post are at the bottom of this thread below the desktop heading. If you’re intrigued, read on.

Thank you for reading.

Please give me the opportunity to be wrong. I’m looking for your help to provide feedback, guidance, and support. Please let me know how this engages you. You can do a thing. I can do a thing. Together we can do great things. Please consider subscribing, liking, sharing, tweeting, texting, forwarding, faxing, printing, snail mail, & airborne leaflet propaganda. It just needs to catch the Forward Flu (go viral).

Scroll up or all the way down for the love, subscribe and share options. I’m trying to trigger (prompt) you to do something.

All email subscriptions and social media followers: tweets, shares, Instagram and Facebook reposts, mentioning @dimeounecpa, dimeo@substack.com, dowd3214, or Sean Dowd you’ll be entered to receive a coffee break @Starbucks gift card. Drawing conducted weekly.

Monthly I’ll give away gifts for dinner and a movie.

Quarterly an at home spa package will be given away.

Please consider sharing and tweeting! You must subscribe or follow to be entered. I like to engage through tangible gratitude.

If you win, please comment or tweet so people can know this is for real. Thanks a latte.

Gifts transferred via email, text, or Twitter through @alwayssaythnks. Consider downloading the Thnks app to streamline your tangible expression of gratitude.

Please consider supporting this work by contributing to the New Wheels - Mobility Campaign.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/new-wheels-improved-mobility/x/28686163?utm_medium=email&utm_source=lifecycle&utm_campaign=#/

Be kind to yourself and others.


The Good stuff:

My mother was cultured in the school of the baby boomer. Raised by people who experienced tremendous challenges in their lives. Not long after an age in America that resulted in the expansion of infrastructure and capital that continues to benefit me and my own children today.

When I drive a car.

When we go to school.

When I receive my paycheck.

My mom loved PBS. She always told me I should watch Downton Abby. I did start watching it. I was inspired to become a butler. Since I can’t have one, maybe being one would be cool.

But the people who I know with the means of hiring a butler didn’t see the benefit at the time of my proposal.

Speaking of the Uber of laundry, I need the Uber of household maintenance.

As I started writing this at 2 am I considered doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen.

Household staff at one time was more common than we would think. Sure, people these days have nannies. But what about housekeepers? Why not butlers?

Maître d or a valet.

Isn’t that what I have a wife for?

Uh… no.

Look at it this way. We all have God given skills and talents. Some of these talents we’ve spent years improving.

Is my time spent better folding laundry or writing?

Is my time spent better putting the dishes away or helping my children develop?

Windows of action.

Time is fleeting.

Opportunity and the ability to meet it.

Matthew 25:14-30

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2025%3A14-30&version=NCV

PBS is sweet. It’s kind of like the library.

If you haven’t been to a library in a while. Go. It’s an institution that needs to be protected as much as nature, a museum, or an archive needs protection. Even in the new information/ knowledge/ electronic age.

Nothing beats the sense of touch or smell when it comes to exploration.

Knowledge for free.

Well not necessarily, but there is not an exchange of consideration at the point of transaction that occurs when I turn on my television.

My Mom was a huge fan of Ken Burns.

She liked the BBC on PBS.

She shared that interest with her ex-husband.

Growing up he preferred the fishing, outdoor and home construction genres. Probably more. But I don’t know. But they came together and passed on a love of discovery.

Discovery is the pivot of the heel.

In writing this I visited a genealogy website that people in my family have maintained.

I saw some brokenness in my Mom’s Geni profile.

An interaction between her and one of my deceased uncle’s ex-wives.

My mother’s brother passed away in 1992 three months shy of his 45th birthday. Four years older than I am now approximately.

If I passed away at that age, I would leave behind a 13, 11, and 8 year old.

I hope that doesn’t happen.

His death was an explosion in our lives. I don’t think her, or my Nana were ever the same. He had two children who I have no contact with today.

The procession of that event and many others like it were so akin to the industrial age. You die, you have a funeral, you’re buried.

What’s the deviation?

And the world keeps on spinning.

Rather than having both hands on the wheel, at that state of our intellectual development we were riding the trolley up and down Woodward Avenue.

During the ride people met, cried, and carried on in their own way to continuously mourn. Even if it was subtle.

Without saying anything at all you can say a lot.

His death by colon cancer could have been different had it been caught earlier. Due to challenges in his life, the cancer wasn’t caught until it was too late.

He died approximately one year after diagnosis, if memory serves me correctly. The only person who would know for sure just died.

My mother had an interaction with one of my uncle’s wives on the internet. It wasn’t cringe inducing. But it’s an interesting perspective of the social media age.

Even in a genealogy website we are faced with privacy and humility versus exhibitionism and arrogance.

Don’t worry, I’m looking in the mirror.

It’s funny though.

Technology has given us an opportunity to maintain archival evidence of what we produce. Before too long we’ll have archival evidence of what we do.

Act accordingly.

We’re planning on having a funeral mass. My mother was Catholic. If I want to participate in the sacrament of communion of that mass, I’ll need to talk with the priest and likely engage in the sacrament of confession.

It’s all very technical.

But it’s an interesting perspective on the rock of the age.

A lot of people who would want to be there can’t be. I have a sense of justification in this writing as a form of sharing my grief for that reason.

I have a sense of justification in writing a how-to manual for my children who are fortunately too innocent to understand the potential dysfunction that sometimes occurs with an event of this type.

I mentioned in my previous post my mother bought a computer when they were equivalent in price to a good used car. I don’t know if she was a visionary, but she was certainly an early adopter.

So her funeral can follow that trend.


That’s the message. Primary sources for inspiration of this post are at the bottom of this thread below the desktop heading. If you’re intrigued, read on.

Thank you for reading.

Please give me the opportunity to be wrong. I’m looking for your help to provide feedback, guidance, and support. Please let me know how this engages you. You can do a thing. I can do a thing. Together we can do great things. Please consider subscribing, liking, sharing, tweeting, texting, forwarding, faxing, printing, snail mail, & airborne leaflet propaganda. It just needs to catch the Forward Flu (go viral).

Scroll up or all the way down for the love, subscribe and share options. I’m trying to trigger (prompt) you to do something.

All email subscriptions and social media followers: tweets, shares, Instagram and Facebook reposts, mentioning @dimeounecpa, dimeo@substack.com, dowd3214, or Sean Dowd you’ll be entered to receive a coffee break @Starbucks gift card. Drawing conducted weekly.

Monthly I’ll give away gifts for dinner and a movie.

Quarterly an at home spa package will be given away.

Please consider sharing and tweeting! You must subscribe or follow to be entered. I like to engage through tangible gratitude.

If you win please comment or tweet so people can know this is for real. Thanks a latte.

Gifts transferred via email, text, or Twitter through @alwayssaythnks. Consider downloading the Thnks app to streamline your tangible expression of gratitude.

Please consider supporting this work by contributing to the New Wheels - Mobility Campaign.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/new-wheels-improved-mobility/x/28686163?utm_medium=email&utm_source=lifecycle&utm_campaign=#/

Be kind to yourself and others.


Desktop:

Most of this work was conducted on my laptop.

Goal for publish: Blog, podcast. Monday morning.

Currently reading: “For whom the Bell Tolls” poem by: John Donne

https://allpoetry.com/For-whom-the-Bell-Tolls

Currently listening: “The Rose” Bette Midler

Currently viewing: Walk the Line, Starring: Joaquin Phoenix; Reese Witherspoon; Ginnifer Goodwin; Robert Patrick

For Whom the Bell Tolls – The poem, not the Novel.

https://allpoetry.com/For-whom-the-Bell-Tolls

Wholeness ≠ Brokenness

Death: Grandpa Paul, Grandma Lucille, Grandpa Ed, Uncle Michael, Aunt Joan, Aunt Carol, Uncle Bill, Nana, Mike, James, Larry, Grandpa Parker, Dustin, Great Grandma Joy, Great Grandpa Hank, Great Grandma Marilyn, Mom.

Time Travel

Fellowship

Necessity of Timing

Privacy & Humility vs. Exhibitionism & Arrogance

Dreams of death.

Premonitions or previews.

Greif versus illness.

Confirmation with a person is the highest level of assurance.

Work after grief?

Have fun and do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.

PBS

Early adopters

News

The world keeps turning.

Edginess and brokenness.

Virtual mourning.

Having children young versus older. A generational consideration.

Geni

https://www.geni.com/people/Janet-McGowan/6000000005948032065

Brokenness

Joy

DNA – What a strange world.

DNA and Me.


Thank you for reading.

Please give me the opportunity to be wrong. I’m looking for your help to provide feedback, guidance, and support. Please let me know how this engages you. You can do a thing. I can do a thing. Together we can do great things. Please consider subscribing, liking, sharing, tweeting, texting, forwarding, faxing, printing, snail mail, & airborne leaflet propaganda. It just needs to catch the Forward Flu (go viral).

Scroll up or all the way down for the love, subscribe and share options. I’m trying to trigger (prompt) you to do something.

All email subscriptions and social media followers: tweets, shares, Instagram and Facebook reposts, mentioning @dimeounecpa, dimeo@substack.com, dowd3214, or Sean Dowd you’ll be entered to receive a coffee break @Starbucks gift card. Drawing conducted weekly.

Monthly I’ll give away gifts for dinner and a movie.

Quarterly an at home spa package will be given away.

Please consider sharing and tweeting! You must subscribe or follow to be entered. I like to engage through tangible gratitude.

If you win please comment or tweet so people can know this is for real. Thanks a latte.

Gifts transferred via email, text, or Twitter through @alwayssaythnks. Consider downloading the Thnks app to streamline your tangible expression of gratitude.

Please consider supporting this work by contributing to the New Wheels - Mobility Campaign.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/new-wheels-improved-mobility/x/28686163?utm_medium=email&utm_source=lifecycle&utm_campaign=#/

Be kind to yourself and others.

Sean Dowd, March 7, 2022

32°F Snowing
945 N Jackson St, Dansville, Michigan, United States