Written and voiced by Sean Dowd, CPA
What’s this all about?
Reliability.
Balance. Center of Mass.
Assets = Liabilities + Equity
Debits and credits!
Money.
General ledger.
Income Statement, Balance Sheet, Statement of Cash Flows.
You have no idea what I’m talking about.
It’s okay. The study of accounting has this reputation as being a challenge.
That’s a true statement. But the simplicity of throwing a ball and hitting it with a stick shouldn’t be used to downplay the accomplishments of Babe Ruth or Willie Mays.
It’s not that I don’t like baseball, it’s just that I don’t understand it.
Something about statistics maybe?
Perfect games thwarted. Don’t put ketchup on your hotdog. Portable radio under sheets.
10,000 hours of substantive practice to master anything.
Accounting is more than just counting beans. At the highest consideration there’s financial, cost, tax and statutory books. Declare your major to learn more!
The two main paths in public accounting are auditing and tax. Consulting is an elite unicorn position.
Auditors ensure reliability for investors . Tax people file reliable returns to government authorities. Consultants work in unique specialty areas. Actuarial practice is a good example.
There are some important distinctions and exceptions. Get an internship to learn more!
Tax people are always busy. But especially in the fall. Busier than April 15. Exceptions apply.
Auditors are always busy. But especially in the winter. They told you you’d have Fridays off. Lol!
Consider becoming an actuary instead.
Consider. Not write off accounting. Geeze. Or do both like this one weirdo I know.
Read a lot.
Memorize.
Practice .
Habit.
That’s the synopsis. Primary sources for inspiration of this post are at the bottom of this thread below the desktop heading. If you’re intrigued, read on.
Thank you for reading.
Please give me the opportunity to be wrong. I’m looking for your help to provide feedback, guidance, and support. Please let me know how this engages you. You can do a thing. I can do a thing. Together we can do great things. Please consider subscribing, liking, sharing, tweeting, texting, forwarding, faxing, printing, snail mail, & airborne leaflet propaganda. It just needs to catch the Forward Flu (go viral).
The Good stuff:
My beloved nephew timidly asked me as we stood around the grill at Mongolian Barbecue, “So what do you account for?”
Good question.
I’ve had a lot of jobs. It’s probably safe to say I’ve mastered the art of finding a job. I started my indentured servitude to the social security administration in 1995 working for Mr. Stanton.
Eventually I decided I wanted to become a clergyman.
No, not a priest.
An accountant. I can reference the following book for calling accounting the priesthood of the business profession:
“The Priesthood of Industry : The Rise of the Professional Accountant in British Management”
https://www.bookdepository.com/Priesthood-Industry-Derek-Matthews/9780198289609
The price of this book is $300. If I want to head up to Michigan State to read it, I might. Or I can shell out some cash for something that’ll probably just sit on my bookshelf.
I’ve heard the priest thing related to CPA’s somewhere else too. I can’t remember where though.
Maybe it has to do with ethics?
From the high level, basically the modern accounting profession got its start in the present day UK revolving around their capital exchanges. Think back to Charles Dickens and Ebenezer Scrooge. He doesn’t seem very priest like.
Capital exchanges are a whole other post. Basically they’re supposed to promote the efficient allocation of capital. To do that, investors just need to read a few financial statements, compare some apple to apple companies they know about, and to decide what the best bet is and invest in that one.
Buy Ford. Advice I gave a friend when he decided to purchase GM stock. Before the bankruptcy of General Motors. He didn’t listen. He’s smarter than me when it comes to this sort of thing.
It’s not really supposed to be like gambling. But I can see why people might think it is.
In order to know those financials are reliable or “free of material misstatement” you need Mr. CPA.
Certified Public Accountant.
People have said to me, “Accountants can make up whatever numbers they want!”
Sure, I suppose. But there are laws in place that discourage that practice. Also, those types of shenanigans would require two or more people, to facilitate fraud.
So yeah, I guess I could. It wouldn’t be worth a damn. And do I come off like that kind of scumbag?
My employer alma matters:
Wendy’s, Lucky’s, Hydroblast, Meijer, Hydroblast, Vin Tech, MTSU, Hydroblast, SUDS, Pristine Car Care, Stryker, Pactiv, Thunder Bay Logistics, Borders, Lowe’s, AmerisourceBergen, Plante Moran, Jackson Hewitt, Grant Thornton (Borders again!), BDO, Dart Container, UPS, Yo, UPS, Markowski, Jackson.
What I was doing:
Crew, dishwasher, power washer, cashier, power washer, car seat assembler, roadie, power washer, car washer/ detailer/ power washer, proprietor, hospital bed assembler, corrugated paper packaging assembler, RV deliverer, call center operator, lumber/ hardware/ tools/ outside garden/ forklift operator, pharmaceutical order filling/ forklift operator, intern, tax return preparer, staff, staff, senior staff, helper, “manager”, driver, staff, senior staff.
I’m like a Rhodes Scholar of entry level employment.
By the time I had my realization I needed to expand my production capability (PC) I had worked for at least 13 different employers. I had the opportunity to start working positions that none of which really required even a high school diploma. I think there were benefits to my grammar school education that prepared me to perform above expectations usually.
My scouting experience was just as valuable. Maybe even more so.
But notice, I haven’t been the “boss” very often. There are a couple reasons why that is. Subscribe and maybe you’ll find out!
I look at those 13 employers from 95 to 08 as internships. I look at a few of those 24 employment experiences as sabbaticals.
I’m not sure I would even know how to relax on a “real” vacation.
Four of the companies were public accounting firms working on billion dollar enterprise to the thousand dollar enterprise. The easiest way to describe public accounting to a layman is “temping”. You do work for clients that they are obligated to do.
Compliance.
Most of the time under the umbrella of the assumption of risk to the firm. Sometimes under the assumption of risk to the client. When you’re under the client, it’s called “loan staffing” or sometimes “consulting”. It’s really just “temping.”
I never got the chance to learn about the risk coverage associated with malpractice. I didn’t really learn much about peer review either. I suppose I just need to get a quote on a liability policy to learn. My brother in law is in insurance. Let me know if you want to network with him.
The funny thing with tax is even when you pay someone to do the work, you still sign a document that essentially says you’re responsible for what’s being reported. Sure you can sue. Also, the government or other authority has to enforce some consequences. But do they? Look at GME.
Lawyers have the benefit of charging for their work, and then suing you if you don’t pay. Accountants aren’t in the law practice club. Even if they’re dual licensed. They still can’t practice. But I’m sure they have friends who can.
Accountants sometimes get insecure about their billable time and the value they add.
We aren’t figure pieces. But things are happening in the industry that could make the next 20 years pretty interesting.
Plumbers make more oftentimes.
Not to denigrate plumbers. It’s a technical skill set in a usually nasty environment.
But I read a lot of books. So maybe there is some value in this tissue of fat and electric signals in my head. Maybe you should pay for that service? Maybe not.
Back to accounting.
Driving my cherry picker with flash cards clipped to the windshield I would study intermediate accounting. I did this for a year before I ever took my first 200 level accounting class. I earned mostly A’s. But I studied for awhile.
Was that fair?
I was lucky to have a 100 level professor who knew how to reinforce the key concepts over and over.
Practice.
He would also call you out for being unprepared.
Some of my best professors had a way of doing that.
“If you want to be an accountant, you should probably learn it’s not spelled accountent.”
Harsh.
Incidentally, I became a worse at spelling the more into accounting I got.
But that criticism wasn’t directed at me.
Accounting is essentially where principles and assumptions meet dollars and cents.
Communication of the language of business.
Numbers “talk” to you.
I don’t know about all that. But when considered with the whole they can be interesting. Also, you still need to be able to communicate.
Having a knowledge of coding wouldn’t be bad either.
That’s the message. Primary sources for inspiration of this post are at the bottom of this thread below the desktop heading. If you’re intrigued, read on.
Thank you for reading.
Please give me the opportunity to be wrong. I’m looking for your help to provide feedback, guidance, and support. Please let me know how this engages you. You can do a thing. I can do a thing. Together we can do great things. Please consider subscribing, liking, sharing, tweeting, texting, forwarding, faxing, printing, snail mail, & airborne leaflet propaganda. It just needs to catch the Forward Flu (go viral).
Desktop:
Most of this work was conducted on my iPhone.
Goal for publish: Blog, podcast. Wednesday evening.
Currently reading: Charles Fillmore Complete Collection: Twelve Books (Alpha Centauri Religion Book 7701)by Charles Fillmore, Myrtle Fillmore
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37715492-charles-fillmore-complete-collection
Currently listening: “It Ain’t Me” Performed by: Kygo & Selena Gomez
https://music.apple.com/us/album/it-aint-me/1444631463?i=1444631771
Currently viewing: “Dune” Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Josh Brolin, Stellan Skarsgård, Dave Bautista, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Zendaya, Chang Chen, Sharon Duncan-Brewster, Charlotte Rampling, Jason Momoa, Javier Bardem
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1160419/
Where am I?
Not in the greatest place. I wanted to go home.
Joey B wrote me a nice letter. I wrote him back. Hopefully he’s okay with the format of the letter I wrote back.
Mom, I miss you. I wish you hadn’t left this soon. I pray you’re happy now. That unknown form. Whatever it may be. You deserved a little easier life. But the one you had wasn’t bad.
You are essentially okay.
Just like a fisherman catches fish with many casts, and a salesman catches leads with many cold calls, you can use an occasion such as this to inventory your network.
Is it making it about you? To an extent, how can you not?
A cold lonely goodbye. Dropping off the remains of your nana at the central mausoleum. A few kind words. A life full of so much self centeredness that even in death harm is caused.
An industry that is meant to guide you through hopefully the hardest loss of your life. Can’t even deliver?
Compliance is for tax returns. Not people. Not even convicted felons should be so dehumanized.
How do you think I’m doing? My mother just died. Am I the first person to lose a parent?
If you’re this inept with the handling of an elder, how are you with a child?
$4,000 for the bargain package.
If I’m able.
Who’s a piece of [Redacted]? Point those three fingers back at yourself.
You’ll get yours.
The unexpected tributes. Wrongs righted.
Amends made. Face to face or at least through vulnerable intimacy.
You want something from me. What power do I have?
Inventory your communication.
Remember where the seeds sprouted.
Don’t feel obligated to come. To be honest after you basically gave me 1 hour notice for your grandma’s send off, I’m not even sure why we still talk.
Love. It’s a consideration of faith. Forgive them father for they know not what they do.
Do you have any clue on how repulsive you are? My level of faith maintains that we aren’t doing this alone. How the mighty fall.
Who will you blame when you’re all alone and no one is left?
https://www.rememberingalife.com/planning-a-service/value-of-a-service/funerals-are-for-the-living
I reflected on memories that I had long forgotten.
Is there a miracle? Lighting crashes?
[Redacted]
Panic.
[Redacted].
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
[Redacted].
No sense of boundaries.
Confession is for your sins. Who does the absolution help? Who helps you with your burden father?
In reality the best gift you could give was explicit directions.
Fight over the crumbs. It’s all immaterial.
Your possessive nature. What have I done to make you hate me so?
[Redacted]?
With friends like these.
If someone did this to my son I would [Redacted] them. Does God have that level of vengeance in Its heart?
[Redacted].
The final fleecing. Just push me out on the iceberg.
What do you love? Is that even a concept you’re capable of considering?
Link to:
The Electronic Pack Rat’s Guide to Goal Setting
Thank you for reading.
Please give me the opportunity to be wrong. I’m looking for your help to provide feedback, guidance, and support. Please let me know how this engages you. You can do a thing. I can do a thing. Together we can do great things. Please consider subscribing, liking, sharing, tweeting, texting, forwarding, faxing, printing, snail mail, & airborne leaflet propaganda. It just needs to catch the Forward Flu (go viral).
Sean Dowd, March 23, 2022
39°F Mostly Cloudy
945 S Jackson St, Dansville, Michigan, United States
The Priesthood of Industry